i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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