end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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