that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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