3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
