I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
