Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It's blow job season.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Boobs are out for the taking
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
