I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
