My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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