glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Houston, we have a blender
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
