I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
