No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My dick has a subreddit
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
