i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
