Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
