Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
