its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
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i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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