i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
