I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
