Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
