its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize