I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
