dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
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My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
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You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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