ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
