I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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