Small penises have feelings too.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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