I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
