you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
