Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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