so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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