Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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