I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize