ADVERTISEMENT

• (970): View more from Colorado

  i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show

  Fav 5 2297 1780

  share tweet
  

• (443): View more from Maryland

  Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore

  Fav 9 3218 870

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."

  Fav 26 4454 1351

  share tweet
  

• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.

  Fav 15 1169 5974

  share tweet
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am

  Fav 21 1582 3877

  share tweet
  

• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.

  Fav 12 4562 1271

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.

  Fav 10 2562 950

  share tweet
  

• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him

  Fav 10 1436 712

  share tweet
  

• (713): View more from Texas

  You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.

  Fav 5 1698 944

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.

  Fav 6 889 515

  share tweet
  

• (239): View more from Florida

  Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?

  Fav 4 449 425

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (253): View more from Washington

  I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome

  Fav 0 332 374

  share tweet
  

• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.

  Fav 3 47 23

  share tweet
  

• (954): View more from Florida

  On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?

  Fav 2 176 18

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (516): View more from New York

  its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.

  Fav 1 89 6

  share tweet
  

Randomize