She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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