their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
