Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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