Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
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I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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