So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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