I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
