You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
