What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We are two peas in an std pod
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My feet surprised me
Randomize
