Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
