I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
