what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
