Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
