Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
third nipple confirmed
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
