I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
