You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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