I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We need a shit load of segways right now
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
