I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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