So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My vagina is officially offended.
i need some magic done to my vagina
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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