I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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