he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
