I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
