I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
