i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
