so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
