I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
