dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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