it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
