how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
