Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
